If you are in a relationship this Valentine Day, you don’t want to look like an utter idiot with the gift you give to your significant other. Steer clear of these 5 gifts to you dude.

Any jewelry of any kind – If you are fairly new couple, a gift of jewelry just muddles and perplexes a guy’s mind. A gift of jewelry is associated with the image of commitment and marriage. This is not the image a guy wants in a new relationship.

Not to mention that your gift of jewelry means the he now feels obligated to buy you an actual real piece of jewelry sometime soon; and the flowers that he got for your V-Day present, well, now he looks like an idiot. Thanks baby girl!

Underwear, Socks, Undershirts – anything that is to be worn under his outfit is a no-no. Guys associate a female buying their undergarments closely with their mother. As I have written before, a girlfriend should never do anything to remind a guy of his mother. If you give him Fruit of the Loom as a gift, well, that pretty much does it.

A nice robe or smoking jacket, (you know, the kind that Hef. wears) is really the only piece of clothing that makes a great V-Day gift.

Anything that “sissifies” his hobby – I am a passionate Piano Player of many years and take pride in the gear that I use to perform. This is my hobby. I have a habit of placing my drink on my board which, over time, stains and scratches the surface. I like it that way.

One year, my “other-half” knitted a table-cloth type catastrophe to place my drink on while playing to avoid scratching the unit even more. The girl in question use to get highly tee’d off if I didn’t have that thing on my board during a show. Did I mention that it had “In love forever” stitched on it?

A canvas sized painting of you and him to hang over the sofa or fireplace – This just freaks guys out on multiple levels. The eyes on the painting seem to always follow him around the house. Don’t do it, Ladies.

DO get me that autographed picture of my favorite artist to hang in the music room. I promise, I will think of you every time I look at it.

A Cologne that YOU like – Look, males are creatures of habit by nature. This holds truth concerning our hygiene as well, including all of the products we use. I have been wearing the Creed line of colognes since I developed the ability to afford a $250.00 piece of heaven in a bottle (the cologne, not the tequila).

Do not EVER give your dude a bottle of cologne unless it’s what he normally wears. Just because you think it smells “sexy”, doesn’t make us want to change our habits. (This is probably what her 57 ex-boyfriends use to wear anyway). You are asking for trouble.

This is just a few of the ghastliest gifts that a girl can give to her boy toy on Valentine’s Day. When in doubt, you can never go wrong with game or concert tickets, a dinner at the local steakhouse and a good drunk at the club afterwards.